Welcome to my blog.

Scroll on down to see a range of blog posts about Mental Health, University and whatever else I decide to write about.


YES Girl!

There is one thing I have always said to myself… I always to yes to a challenge.

That is one thing I am so proud of myself for doing. Always saying yes!

Recently I succeeded in that once again, and said yes to playing violin at a wedding.

To have that responsibility was quite a big deal for me, as well as know the importance of a wedding! And with every problem I came across, I fought through and continued on. I wasn’t alone in playing the wedding, as I joined forces with my sister, who, in the end helped me through the nerves.

The 9th of April came! The wedding day!

I was so anxious, so worried about how I was going to do.

If I was going to mess up or if I may not be able to handle the stress due to my anxiety disorder. Yet, low and behold, I fought through all the tears, heavy breathing and shaking, and played.

Another challenge was succeeded. I had done it.

Letting them rule…

[Swearing within post]

Hands up, if you let people rule your life!

They choose your clothes.

Your hairstyle.

Your beliefs.


For some people, that is more literally, but personally I’m referring to how we allow ourselves to feel judged before we step out of our rooms. This need to look, and act as people will expect us to.

I never realised how deep I was in this category until just a few days ago.

From previous blogs I’ve expressed my love for animals and my decision to make an effort to fight for their rights.

I began my passion with the fox ban discussion, which thankfully we won, and after the fox ban wasn’t repealed and the pride I had over that, I was ready to continue that spark! As I searched for a way to make my opinions matter, I found what I needed… an online based campaign group that allowed you to take part in fighting for justice by doing small and simple things within your community, house and on social media… perfect!

This was the campaigners, PETA, who have created a wonderful online street crew. They send out a challenge for everyone to complete, and once you’ve sent in proof of your efforts you get points. The points add up until eventually you can buy some merchandise which includes t-shirts, bookmarks and loads more.

I did this for a few weeks, enjoying clocking up to points, learning a wider range of cruelty going on around my country and I was proud of myself for making an effort. When everyone sits and does nothing and ignores it, I was doing atleast something however small. It made me feel strong.

What stopped me?

Well, uni was coming up, and I knew once I got back people would probably be judging me. And I have to admit… I can’t even think of one reason why people would judge me for being passionate, but I felt like they would! I wasn’t wrong, some people did, I know they did.

Nothing has made me feel so ashamed of myself. After everything I have fought for, I should be screaming to the world how I want to make a difference, while others sit there and watch! I feel ashamed that I put my fears of being judged before the lives of animals that I could support. So from now on I’m going to stand up.

F*ck you, to the people that look at someones good doings and see the bad.

F*ck you, to the people who look at someones life choices and laugh and joke about them.

F*ck you, to the people who take one look at someone and instantly think you are superior, and have a right to put that person down! LIKE F*CK YOU DO!

YOU are the people who have created people like me. People who are fearful of being judged, they act like someone else. They strip away a part of their personalities, their passions, their lives so no one will judge them and make them feel ashamed.

I want people to realise, when you step out of your door, you have to be you! You have to wear what you want, how you want, believe what you want with a smile that’s yours! No matter what people think of it, it’s yours and you should be proud of it!! Just like, from now on I’m going to be!

Be a fighter.

Thankyou for Reading



New Animal Rights Fighter

Now my hand-ins are finally completely, I’ve got time to think about what I want to do for the future.

Although I have a very busy schedule over the summer of working on musicals and having a job, I’ve decided I need to start using my voice for something good.

I’ve always been an strongly opinionated person, but often I have kept my opinions, my voice quiet. After 2 years of university, I feel I’ve developed my confidence and realised, I am as important as anyone else.

I’ve thought about getting involved in something I truly wanted to fight against for a long time, and now I’m at university and gaining my confidence it has made more and more sense every day.

I have chosen to look into campaigning for something I feel is very important in this day and age, and needs to be discussed. There are so many overlooked issues involving animals, both domesticated and wild.

What triggered my decision to fight for animal rights was due to the recent election. Personally, I voted for a party I felt was not only going to look out for the welfare of citizen of the country, but I also felt would protect the many species of this fine country and the earth itself. And I felt, that the elections brought in a party that would not offer this protection. So now it’s time that we have to protect them ourselves as respectful caring animal lovers.

The recent strain on our animals are the consideration by the government to repeal the Hunting ban 2004. This, for those of you unaware, means that Cameron is asking the government, if they would like to lift the hunting ban, allowing hunters to kill animals at their will.

The act of hunting goes back in British history, as a sport. Hunters would send out packs of dogs, to sniff out and chase down foxes and various other animals. Then, the dogs would either present their winnings and be ordered to rip the animal to shreds, or the hunter will begin the peal off the animals skin whilst they scream for mercy. They will then take roughly 10 minutes to finally die off. 


Many hunters have expressed that this ‘sport’ is used to control the population. Yet, foxes have infact been bred to be sent out into the hunters grounds and murdered. If that isn’t bad enough, there is even a cub season, where only cubs are sent out into the grounds, being hunted down.


Defenceless creatures are being hunted down, not for food, not for our safety but simply for pleasure, and it needs to stop. Allowing the repeal to take place will only allow humans to go further, until eventually we are so detached to our sympathetic side, that we will begin to kill humans as if it’s a ‘sport’


So, as my first blog on my fight for animal rights, I would like readers to take into consideration their opinions on this matter.

Would you allow people to hunt and kill animals for pleasure?

Would you be the killer that rips the skin off these precious animals?

Or will you be the person who fights for these animals, when they can’t fight for themselves?

Help us fight against the repeal, and tell the conservatives that they can’t do this to our animals, because natures beauty is more innocent and caring than human nature, and we need to learn from that.

Here is a link where you can sign the petition to help stop the repeal…


If you do wish to continue taking action, and live in the UK, maybe find out what your local MPs feel about the repeal, afterall they are the people who are voting for the decision to be made.

Thankyou for reading




For the Carers…

I apologies for the lateness of this blog post, but a busy bee I have been!

So, my previous blog highlighted, that the 11th to the 17th of March was Mental Health Awareness week, so I aimed to post a post for the mental health sufferer, and a post for the mental health carer. These post, are a guideline to things you may do to help deal with mental health issues.

As previously stated, I am not an expert at this subject, but as someone who’s been both a sufferer and carer, there are a few ways I know can help someone feel better when they’re experiencing the complications.

So below is my list of things you can try, if you’re someone who is looking after a mental health sufferer.

  • Expect alot of confusion.

The mind can be a wonderful thing, but to someone struggling with mental health issues, it’s a whirlpool of emotion! Sometimes they don’t know what they’re thinking, never mind you!

  • Wear your heart on your sleeve.

I don’t know about other people, but it’s always nice to hear how much your loved and cared for. And if you feel at your lowest, it is a great help! Be honest about how much you care, it might lift their spirits a little higher.

  • Ask permission.

Sometimes, when someone is anxious and upset, their self awareness is really high. It can come as quite a shock to be held, without being asked. And sometimes, it’s not appreciated. If you’re going to attempt to console them, be sure they’re ok with that first.

  • Don’t take it to heart.

Sometimes, with the mind swirling at 100 mph, we can say things that are over exaggerated and unfair. If someone is struggling, they don’t need an arguement, they need a calm environment. So don’t allow yourself to get heated, just stay calm and discuss it.

  • Remind them they’re not alone.

No one is ever alone. But with the clouded head, it can certainly seem that way. Remind them you are there for them! And no matter what, you always will be.

  • Don’t try too hard to understand.

In the panic of the worst suffering, you feel the need to ask questions, what wrong? Why do you feel this way? What’s happening? You’re better off just consoling us. 20 questions would turn anyone into a nervous wreck!

  • Be proud of them.

You may not know it, but in their mind they’re battling some deep feelings! Tell them how proud you are, and remind them that they should be proud too! It’s a battle not everyone survives, but they are.

  • This is not failure.

Avoid any language that may make them feel like this is a bad thing. They’re allowed to feel this way, and with you by their side they can get through it! But if you say things like ‘Don’t be silly, there’s nothing to worry about!’ I’m sorry but you’re not the kind of person they need when they’re struggling! 

  • Hold on.

Sometimes people forget that it’s not just them struggling. Mental health doesn’t just affect the people suffering, but the people who are caring too. And it’s ok to admit that. Sometimes you won’t want to hear how they are feeling. But just remember that they need someone to care. They need you! And trust in them, that when you need them, they’ll do the same!

  • Finally, make the most of a good day…

When they feel good, make the most of it! It, for some people, rarely happens. So, spend the day with them to give them days that make them smile, as they will be the days they treasure when they’re low.

Thankyou for reading, and I hope that’s helped.

If anyone does need any advice, please comment below, I’m happy to help!



Useful Numbers you could call for help;

Mind Info Line- For advice concerning mental health issues

CALL 0845 766 0163

Rethink- for physical and emotional support concerning severe mental health issues

CALL 0845 456 0455

The Samaritans- offering emotional support 24 hours, for distressed issues.

CALL 08457 90 90 90

For the sufferers….

It’s Mental Health Awareness week…

…from the 11th to the 17th of March, and the level of support out there is unbelievable! After years of misunderstanding, people are truly opening their eyes to what it means to have mental health issues! So for this wonderful week of awareness, I’ve decided to write 2 blog posts, within the next few days giving advice to both the sufferers, and the supporters, because both people are affected by the issues, not just the sufferer.

Now I’m not suggesting that I’m a professional, and I’m not suggesting that all my opinions and ideas on these issues are the same as yours, but as someone who’s been in the dark depths of anxiety disorder, I’d like to say that I do have a few thoughts and advice for people who are looking for the help.

To understand what you need to do when you feel like there may be something wrong with your mental health is rather hard, because although we’re trying to break out of the stigma, it’s still there in the back of our mind. ‘Oh no, I can’t have that!’ But it’s alright, you will be ok.

So, here is my list of things you can do, if you feel like you’re slipping;

  • Find the people that matter…

 Sometimes it’s hard to believe, but there are people out there who can care for you, whether its family or a friend, or professional carers like doctors and counsellors. Even teachers and lecturers can offer the support you need. Professional help is always there for anyone who needs it, and if you feel like you’re struggling with daily life, they are the people you can talk to.

  • Forget the ones that put you down…

There are people out there that have never experienced this in their lives, and they can’t understand why you are. That’s ok, they’re not bad people for that. But there are two types of these people. the ones who you can see are trying to make you feel better, and in a way that does make you feel better, and the ones that are just not helping at all. Their comments on ‘getting over it’ and ‘you’re being silly’ is just not useful in any way, shape or form! I’m not suggesting you should stop talking to these people, because most likely, they do actually care… they just don’t know how to! If someone you turn to, makes you feel worse, they are this type of person. Don’t turn to these people when your struggling, because they will only put you deeper in the dark hole.

  • Fight it!..

As much as it’s so easy to close the door and keep it closed, this will not teach you to fight it. Sitting alone is the worse thing you can do, as it lets the negative thoughts spin around in your mind without anyone to cry out to. You need to begin, when you’re ready to fight, by simply going for a walk, or cooking a meal, even meeting a friend. It is the most important rule. You don’t listen to what your head is trying to make you think, because eventually it will make you stay in your room where no one can help you. Set yourself personal goals, just little things that you can do to prove to yourself you are a strong person.

  • Remember what mental health issues are…

People who have never had it, often think it’s a weakness, and they’re wrong, so don’t give into that phrase. This is why I say it’s a mental health issue. One by one issues can be dealt with, and that’s a nicer way to think about it, than an illness which sounds much more long term. Mental Health issues are not your weaknesses, they’re your challenges, they come your way to make you deal with them one by one. What you don’t realise is, you’re not weak for having them, but you’re strong for surviving them… so be proud!

  • You will learn who your friends are…

The reoccurring feelings are going to make you need someone to talk to. And you will always feel like you’re annoying people with your problems. This is where you learn which friends truly care. If people start biting with their comments about getting over it, and they roll their eyes when they see your eyes crying for help, they are not the people you need! The people who say, ‘it’s ok honestly’ when you apologise for being anxious/upset/stressed, these are the people who care. Because although it can get a bit tiring, dealing with someone with issues, they will forever be by your side when you do, because they know how important it is to keep you smiling, and they hate to see it when your not!

  • Look for ways to release your worries…

If you are looking for ways to help you ease the problems, and you look and say ‘Oh that won’t work’ You’re not doing it right. You need to start trying everything, even if you feel stupid doing it. Yes, I’ve tried everything that I’ve come across to help me improve my issues, and no, they didn’t all work, but it’s always worth the try! Previously on this blog, there is a post called ‘the black book’ this is a suggested way to ease some of the stress. It works for me, try it yourself!

  • Don’t lay down to avoid the stress…

Avoiding conflict is often misunderstood as to ‘make it easier for yourself’ but sometimes, you’ll spend so much time getting worked up about the problem, that it’s probably worth just dealing with the situation as it will go away quicker. Don’t avoid things that are going to make you anxious. You have to find the confident you, that can not only put the conflict in place, but your anxieties too… teach it a lesson that you’re not giving in, so then you’ll realise yourself, you don’t need to give in for anyone!

  • Respect the care…

Sometimes through the cloudiness of your thoughts, you can see someone who is trying to make you feel better but can’t. They hug you, and try suggest things to make you feel better. Respect them for their efforts. It’s so easy to get lost in your thoughts and think that there is no one that can help. It’s so easy to tell them to leave you alone and never try help you again. Try telling them what you need so they can tend to that, rather than expecting them to know. Eventually, after some time, they’ll know exactly the routine you need to help you feel better.

  • Be the friend you want to have…

Remember that those people that help you through the bad times, have their bad times too! It’s easy to compare how awful you felt, to how awful they feel, and think that it’s nothing. Forget about your mental health for one moment, and become the friend they were to you, to show you appreciate them and the help they gave you. Although mental health can almost feel like your life, you need to put the worries of your own aside to help your friend feel better too.

  • Finally, make the most of a good day…

Different people get different amount of good days! So, when you’re having a good day, enjoy every moment of it, laugh and smile as much as possible! Do things that keep you on the high as much as you can, and document it! Take photos, write your blog or diary, all so you remember the good days! Don’t be ashamed of a cheeky selfie, when it’s going to remind you of a day you actually felt good, or even a photo of something that reminds you of that day!



I hope that reading this has given you some useful ideas of what things you can do to help you find your way back on the path of smiling. It’s hard to get your head round the things you need to help yourself with because you just feel limp and tired, but having these goals, and the desperation to get better, gives you the determination to improve.

I’m always here for people who need help, so if you feel there is no where to turn, feel free to drop a message, and then I can try point you in the direction where someone can help you.

If you are someone struggling to know how to support someone suffering with mental health issues, keep an eye out for my next blog entry, giving advice on how to learn to help.

Thankyou for reading



Useful Numbers you could call for help;

Mind Info Line- For advice concerning mental health issues

CALL 0845 766 0163

Rethink- for physical and emotional support concerning severe mental health issues

CALL 0845 456 0455

The Samaritans- offering emotional support 24 hours, for distressed issues.

CALL 08457 90 90 90


Goals for the year…

I’m so disappointed in myself,

I haven’t been on here for way too long and now I’m in a very busy time of hand ins at university, I’ve decided to do a post. I guess that’s what you call procrastination. Whoops.

But, hey this post is actually about bettering myself this year, so what’s better than getting it down now and being able to focus on the goals throughout hand in time right?

So, before I begin, this is not ‘New year new me’… because that’s not possible to change me in the space of a decision and become who I want to be… but I’ve got a few goals to help me become the true me… it’s more like ‘New year, try and be true me’….

Here’s my goals for this year;

– Be confident in my work. 

      People are always telling me my work is good, yet I struggle to see it. That’s why I’m constantly asking people how my work is, because I want to see what they see. It’s pretty clear that I have to start believing them, or else I’m never going to finalise anything. So from now on, I’m going to work straight into my sketchbook…. no notebooks to ‘practise’, as it’s just time consuming, and whenever someone gives me their opinion, absorb it and believe it.

– Show people the real me

      I’m a hard person to meet, as I’m so shy. People come to chatwith me and I just don’t know what to say… yet they speak to me on the internet and I’m fine with being more me. I know lots of people suffer with this, and I will advice you guys to try it out too. Be the person you are on the internet. YOU! I’m going to forget what they think of me and just be me. Smile and quirky me. I’ve already began working on this with a few people, as I’ve grown closer with them through working together on projects or asking them for help, so I intend to continue this.

– Be more assertive

   I enjoy having responsibility. So much so that as well as being at uni, I also have a job. I find myself drowning in work and still going to work. This is not helping my health pattern let alone my work pattern. When doing uni work, I’m worrying about what time it is to go to work, when I’m at work, I’m worrying about uni work. It’s a bitter circle, so from now on I’m going to predict when I’m going to be needing time for uni and be sure I’ve got the time away from work to do the work. I admit I only do a few hours now, but it’s surprising how that affects my anxieties towards my work when I’m particularly stressed.

– Stop procrastinating (ironically) 

   I’m guilty of procrastination, this is living proof. I’ve got mywork surrounding me, in for next week and I’m typing away at this. Oh dear. I’ll class this as a break. I’m not sure whether I’ll ever know my best way of working, I think it changes. One day I’m working really well with music on, next day I find I’ve spent my time singing to it so much I haven’t done anything! So, I guess I need to develop my top few ways to work and vary them. Maybe even block facebook and wordpress when the pressure is on…

So there’s my goals, and I’m going to really try prove to myself I can succeed in these areas, because I want to become the best I can be!

This was just a quick post, but a very important one at that.

Thankyou for readinglarge2




Mental Health Awareness Week

I  haven’t been writing for a while. I’ve been working and getting back into university life, which has had its ups and downs.

But currently, I’m enjoying my life.


I thought this week would be the best time to get back to my blogging, as it is Mental Health Awareness Week.

I’ve spoken about my Anxiety issues many times, on my blog and in normal life. I imagine people get sick of hearing it to be honest. But what they may not realise is, I may mention it once in a day, but I think about it a thousand times more. It’s a constant thought, thinking of how you’re going to feel, react, and act. 

This is why I support Mental Awareness Week!


There’s a large sense of taboo about the words ‘Mental Health Issues’, simply because of the word ‘Mental.’

Many people look at someone who is open about their mental issues, and think ‘Oh God, I don’t want to get involved with them!’ That’s why half the time people don’t notice that 1 in 4 actually suffer from Mental Health issues any given year… because people are ashamed to admit they suffer!

I was once really struggling with my mental health, and the issue of what others thought was probably making it worse. The amount of times I’ve asked, ‘When do I tell them…?’ in fear I’ll be cast aside in case I’m unbearable to be with. Once I begun counselling, I was taught to not be ashamed of my illness because, in the long run I’m dealing with a challenge, and will probably be stronger than so many others after all I’ve overcome through the years. That eased my worrying , because it’s true! Now, with people who know me better at university, I find that when I thought they were thinking I’m weak, they were actually impressed by all I’ve achieved with the struggle. That makes me proud of myself!

‘Time to Change’ is working towards showing non-sufferers what it’s like to suffer, as well as be discriminated against, whilst showing sufferers not to be afraid of discrimination. This is something that should be tackled and be fixed. After all these years, these issues need to be mended.

‘Time to Change’ is one of the websites who are working towards ending Mental Health discrimination. They’re led by ‘Mind’ (mentioned in previous posts) and ‘Rethink Mental Illness’ to challenge the stigma. And it feels good to be a part of it!

The site raises awareness of what mental health actually is and why it’s so important to us that people know what it’s like!

Check out their website, and even make a pledge like me, to show your support for the team and the people around you!


TTC Supporting Logo Red-1

Because there’s nothing worse than feeling like the elephant in the room. Feeling like everyone wants to say something but doesn’t want you to hear! This stigma, heightens paranoia, if it wasn’t bad enough already! We’re probably thinking that you’re saying worse than what you actually are!elephant-in-the-room-2

On the 10th of October it is World Mental Health Day, many events will be happening through the world to raise awareness of mental health issues. It will teach what it’s like to have these issues, and how we feel about it. Please take a look at what might be happening near you, which may help raise awareness this year! Even take some time to learn about a few of the different mental issues that people do suffer with on a daily basis, if you’re really wanting to take part!


I hope it’s helped capture the importance of a such an important day!

Enjoy the day and learn something new.

Be a part of the fight.





CATS the musical: Bridlington Style!

I do enjoy a good musical,
BUT, I enjoy a good musical that I’m involved in even more!logo

As much as I’d love to be on a stage singing and dancing, my talents lie more behind the scenes, and over the past few years I’ve taken part in my school musicals… from We Will Rock You to The Wiz, I’ve playing my violin in the band, and loved it!
Last year, as a design student, I began to help with the set design for Joseph and the Technicolor dreamcoat. I knew, this is what I wanted to do!

So this year, with my first year of university done and no exams to work towards, I was able to go back to my old school and begin creating the set for their latest musical, CATS. And it was a great feeling! I’ve always enjoyed being part of the musical, but this time it felt different. It was like the quiet girl who once came to the school, did actually make her mark on the school. Is remembered… appreciated!

Working alongside my old product design teachers, I helped build some memorable pieces of the CATS set, including the car, moon, oven and lamp. After so long of being away, it was great fun to be able to use a jig saw, drill, sander and so many more machines again!



I sat, for hours on end painting in the empty assembly hall, singing along to myself for company, making everything looking rusty and fitting into the junk yard theme. It was so relaxing to just paint, some nice me time! As well as a few hours with some very dedicated students who helped me get some jobs done!

I wasn’t the only one working so hard… the costume designers, were immense, they made real cats out of the actors/actresses, they looked astounding! The actors/actresses, became cats, acted like cats even when they weren’t on stage, they worked so hard perfecting the dances, understanding the songs and becoming the feline! The teachers were so passionate about this musical, and believed in their cast to pull off what was such a difficult musical. And lets not forget the band and backstage crew who worked hard to be sure the cast were accompanied with a trusted team to help them backstage and help them make beautiful music!


A lot of my time through those weeks, my anxieties were quite bad, and out of everything I appreciated about this massive amount of wonderful people, was the support they gave me while I was crying, and quiet and tired. The teachers, and student, whom of many were young, and maybe wouldn’t know what an anxiety disorder is,  tried their best to help me feel better. It’s sometimes hard to understand why the girl who’s not on stage looks more nervous than the girl on stage… but they accepted that and kept me smiling through the tears. If they are reading this, Thankyou, and a special Thankyou to the people who had to deal with me at home too! 

After the many weeks of strenuous work, the show was moved to the Bridlington Spa, and the set looked unbelievable! Especially once the dry ice got going along the floor. Once the cast stepped onto the stage with their wigs, face paint and unitards, the world we’d been imagining came true! It was real! And totally worth spending my time on! I had so much fun with my project, making new friends, having responsibility and bringing an imagined drawing to life. Being able to see a child climb onto a stage with your work, and look like they’re in a new world you’ve imagined up, it’s crazy!




My Sister looking brilliant!


After some brilliant singing, tremendous acting and powerful music, the school’s production of CATS seems to have left a lasting memory on people’s mind, a few weeks since people are still commenting on mine and my sisters work on the show! The school have definitely got a lot to live up to, because along with the script of ‘a triumphant piece of musical theatre’, there was a superb quality of singing, in solos, harmonies and chorus. The acting was brilliant, taking a very hard mind-set, of being a cat and practising it until it was engraved in their minds. I was truly amazed about what everyone managed to pull of this year, and now…

I just can’t wait to hear about next year!




‘Let the memory, live again.’

‘Memory’ from CATS the Musical

Listen to the Jellicle songs from the movie here;