It’s Mental Health Awareness week…
…from the 11th to the 17th of March, and the level of support out there is unbelievable! After years of misunderstanding, people are truly opening their eyes to what it means to have mental health issues! So for this wonderful week of awareness, I’ve decided to write 2 blog posts, within the next few days giving advice to both the sufferers, and the supporters, because both people are affected by the issues, not just the sufferer.
Now I’m not suggesting that I’m a professional, and I’m not suggesting that all my opinions and ideas on these issues are the same as yours, but as someone who’s been in the dark depths of anxiety disorder, I’d like to say that I do have a few thoughts and advice for people who are looking for the help.
To understand what you need to do when you feel like there may be something wrong with your mental health is rather hard, because although we’re trying to break out of the stigma, it’s still there in the back of our mind. ‘Oh no, I can’t have that!’ But it’s alright, you will be ok.
So, here is my list of things you can do, if you feel like you’re slipping;
- Find the people that matter…
Sometimes it’s hard to believe, but there are people out there who can care for you, whether its family or a friend, or professional carers like doctors and counsellors. Even teachers and lecturers can offer the support you need. Professional help is always there for anyone who needs it, and if you feel like you’re struggling with daily life, they are the people you can talk to.
- Forget the ones that put you down…
There are people out there that have never experienced this in their lives, and they can’t understand why you are. That’s ok, they’re not bad people for that. But there are two types of these people. the ones who you can see are trying to make you feel better, and in a way that does make you feel better, and the ones that are just not helping at all. Their comments on ‘getting over it’ and ‘you’re being silly’ is just not useful in any way, shape or form! I’m not suggesting you should stop talking to these people, because most likely, they do actually care… they just don’t know how to! If someone you turn to, makes you feel worse, they are this type of person. Don’t turn to these people when your struggling, because they will only put you deeper in the dark hole.
- Fight it!..
As much as it’s so easy to close the door and keep it closed, this will not teach you to fight it. Sitting alone is the worse thing you can do, as it lets the negative thoughts spin around in your mind without anyone to cry out to. You need to begin, when you’re ready to fight, by simply going for a walk, or cooking a meal, even meeting a friend. It is the most important rule. You don’t listen to what your head is trying to make you think, because eventually it will make you stay in your room where no one can help you. Set yourself personal goals, just little things that you can do to prove to yourself you are a strong person.
- Remember what mental health issues are…
People who have never had it, often think it’s a weakness, and they’re wrong, so don’t give into that phrase. This is why I say it’s a mental health issue. One by one issues can be dealt with, and that’s a nicer way to think about it, than an illness which sounds much more long term. Mental Health issues are not your weaknesses, they’re your challenges, they come your way to make you deal with them one by one. What you don’t realise is, you’re not weak for having them, but you’re strong for surviving them… so be proud!
- You will learn who your friends are…
The reoccurring feelings are going to make you need someone to talk to. And you will always feel like you’re annoying people with your problems. This is where you learn which friends truly care. If people start biting with their comments about getting over it, and they roll their eyes when they see your eyes crying for help, they are not the people you need! The people who say, ‘it’s ok honestly’ when you apologise for being anxious/upset/stressed, these are the people who care. Because although it can get a bit tiring, dealing with someone with issues, they will forever be by your side when you do, because they know how important it is to keep you smiling, and they hate to see it when your not!
- Look for ways to release your worries…
If you are looking for ways to help you ease the problems, and you look and say ‘Oh that won’t work’ You’re not doing it right. You need to start trying everything, even if you feel stupid doing it. Yes, I’ve tried everything that I’ve come across to help me improve my issues, and no, they didn’t all work, but it’s always worth the try! Previously on this blog, there is a post called ‘the black book’ this is a suggested way to ease some of the stress. It works for me, try it yourself!
- Don’t lay down to avoid the stress…
Avoiding conflict is often misunderstood as to ‘make it easier for yourself’ but sometimes, you’ll spend so much time getting worked up about the problem, that it’s probably worth just dealing with the situation as it will go away quicker. Don’t avoid things that are going to make you anxious. You have to find the confident you, that can not only put the conflict in place, but your anxieties too… teach it a lesson that you’re not giving in, so then you’ll realise yourself, you don’t need to give in for anyone!
- Respect the care…
Sometimes through the cloudiness of your thoughts, you can see someone who is trying to make you feel better but can’t. They hug you, and try suggest things to make you feel better. Respect them for their efforts. It’s so easy to get lost in your thoughts and think that there is no one that can help. It’s so easy to tell them to leave you alone and never try help you again. Try telling them what you need so they can tend to that, rather than expecting them to know. Eventually, after some time, they’ll know exactly the routine you need to help you feel better.
- Be the friend you want to have…
Remember that those people that help you through the bad times, have their bad times too! It’s easy to compare how awful you felt, to how awful they feel, and think that it’s nothing. Forget about your mental health for one moment, and become the friend they were to you, to show you appreciate them and the help they gave you. Although mental health can almost feel like your life, you need to put the worries of your own aside to help your friend feel better too.
- Finally, make the most of a good day…
Different people get different amount of good days! So, when you’re having a good day, enjoy every moment of it, laugh and smile as much as possible! Do things that keep you on the high as much as you can, and document it! Take photos, write your blog or diary, all so you remember the good days! Don’t be ashamed of a cheeky selfie, when it’s going to remind you of a day you actually felt good, or even a photo of something that reminds you of that day!
I hope that reading this has given you some useful ideas of what things you can do to help you find your way back on the path of smiling. It’s hard to get your head round the things you need to help yourself with because you just feel limp and tired, but having these goals, and the desperation to get better, gives you the determination to improve.
I’m always here for people who need help, so if you feel there is no where to turn, feel free to drop a message, and then I can try point you in the direction where someone can help you.
If you are someone struggling to know how to support someone suffering with mental health issues, keep an eye out for my next blog entry, giving advice on how to learn to help.
Thankyou for reading
MoonlightGrey
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Useful Numbers you could call for help;
Mind Info Line- For advice concerning mental health issues
CALL 0845 766 0163
Rethink- for physical and emotional support concerning severe mental health issues
CALL 0845 456 0455
The Samaritans- offering emotional support 24 hours, for distressed issues.
CALL 08457 90 90 90
MoonlightGrey 